It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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