he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The power of my boobs compel you
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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