I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize