My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize