I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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