It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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