Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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