this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
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Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
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They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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