I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize