he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
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They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
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The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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