Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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