these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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