I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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