like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize