Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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