this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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