Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
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That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
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Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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