dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize