im drinking this country out of the recession.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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