somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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