So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize