How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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