hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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