Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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