i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize