I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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