OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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