Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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