the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
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He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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