i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
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Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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