i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
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The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
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Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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