It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
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Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
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don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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