i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize