the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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