Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
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He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
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When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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