i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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