I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize