I just saw a hot homeless man
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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