I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I touched a dick in church today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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