he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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