You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
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The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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