These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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