Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
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I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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