on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Drunk is not a location!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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