I'm jealous of your bromance
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
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Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
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I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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