i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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