Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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