I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize