then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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