dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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